I'm tired of words

I've been thinking lately about how much of what we do every day revolves around words. About the ability to put our thoughts into something meaningful using a common language. More than just our thoughts really. Who we are is largely summarized by the words we use. We talk to express frustration, sadness, joy, confusion, despair, excitement, etc. I've heard people characterize their best date ever as one where they talked for 5, 6, 7 hours straight. Whether we like it or not, we live and die by the words that come out of our mouth. Which may seem unfair, at times. I wish I had a nickel for everytime I have said something and immediately wished I hadn't said it. I am the girl, after all, who actually told a customer at Starbucks that I didn't recognize him with his pants on.

Trust me, there's a story there. But the point is, being the flawed creatures that we are, it just doesn't seem right that so much of who we are to the world is summed up by the way we speak. It is no wonder then that Proverbs tells us that "the tongue has the power of life and death" and in James that "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless". Worthless!

This all brings me to my big (drumroll please) 2008 New Year's Resolution!! It's time to rein in the tongue. More specifically, my tongue. While in the midst of deep self-reflection on my wild and raucous New Year's Eve (ha!), I began thinking about the ways that I probably hurt people with my witty and oftentimes biting sarcasm. In all honesty, it's sometimes one of my favorite things about myself...but I never want to be sarcastic at the expense of someone else's feelings. If I can just remember that who I am is defined by what I say, it does me no good to say "Oh, I didn't mean to be rude. If they know me, they'll understand I'm just joking around."

A lot of it comes back to this whole having a "gentle and quiet spirit" thing that I have a love-hate relationship with. And when I say love-hate, I really mean mostly hate. I've always thought that because I'm sort of this sassy, sarcastic person that means I'm not a "gentle and quiet spirit". And while I know I am who God made me (and God don't make no mistakes!), that doesn't give me the right to sort of blaze forward with a sort of Wild West-John Wayne-Go Ahead, Make My Day attitude. But cultivating a gentle and quiet spirit doesn't mea I lose a sense of humor either.

So there it is. 2008 is about taming my tongue, about learning what it means to have a gentle and quiet spirit, while maintaining the unique image of God that lies in me.